Three years ago at Clones, during the Armagh/Fermanagh game, someone played a pass out to the wing, and there was absolutely no one there to receive it.
An auld fella sitting in front of me totally bemused, just said: 'Who do you see out there?'

A drunken eejit tried to streak behind the goals as he was being dragged along the track at the side of the pitch a voice in the crowd yelled: 'You might have at least taken your socks off!'

The one I remember most was a championship match in Longford where me home club were playing a crowd called Cashel.
Cashel had a fella in midfield who was about 6ft 5in and as thin as a rake. Anyway, the auld game wasn't going so well for him and when one of the Cashel contingent lost patience with his fumbling he roared out: 'Carberry - if you were any longer you'd be late.'

I think this happened at half time, as everyone was paying lots of attention to the announcer.
Announcer: Fógra... would patrons please note, that for safety issues, by order of the Gardaí, that drinks... [PAUSE]
Fella in the crowd: “are on the house!”
[Big cheer]

I was visiting a good friend of mine below in Wexford a few years ago and his club, St. Martins were playing Oulart the Ballagh in a football league game.
Good craic but slightly weird to see the O'Connors playing against Martin Storey in football (they were all quite good as well).
Anyway, at one point in the game an Oulart player comes running over towards the dugout with his ripped right boot in hand.
He chucks it towards the mentors expecting a replacement.
When it’s obvious none is forthcoming he roars at them: 'well yis carry spare hurls don't ya?'

Again, this was directed at a really tall, skinny player. If you knew the man who uttered it you'd find it funnier, but just imagine someone saying it in the slowest Cavan drawl you've ever heard: 'Jaysus young Reilly, if you fell over twice you'd be at home.'

PA announcement at half-time in Meath vs. Westmeath, Portlaoise 2003: 'Patrons who want to go to the toilet should use the passage under the stand.'

I heard a Dub mourning a wide saying: 'Jaysus he wouldn't hit Arnotts window with a brick.'

Years ago playing Clonduff and I was marking Father Peter Devlin. One of our forwards had an effort about 5 yards wide but of course our umpire sticks the white flag up.
Under his breath the preist says: 'Lord that man's a liar!'

Last Sunday in Ballybofey, Donegal emerged and there were footballs flying everywhere.
Up pipes a wag- 'you'd think with all the fishermen in this county they'd be able to find a net to put behind the goals!'



At an under 10 game, one of the opposing team players (full forward) was having a very bad day, and seemed very tired and uninterested.
The father, a Kerryman who was roaring at him all day finally got his attention when he screamed: 'I'm telling you now boy, you'll be in bed next week at 6 O'Clock and that  Xbox is going in the bin as soon as I get home.'

At one of the Armagh league games in Crossmaglen this year the announcer said:
1) 'Would patrons who have parked there cars in the car park not move them until the rest of the crowd have passed out.'
And minutes later he said:
2) 'The girls at the Armagh shop would be happy if patrons could relieve them of their goods.'

'Yerra take the hair out of your eyes, ya blind eejit' – heard shouted at a certain bald linesman in Killarney for a Kerry v Cork game.

 I was down at the bank at home and one of the local guards who is from Tipp was there.
He was going on about how they were going to beat Clare and how good Tipp are and all the All Irelands they have agus mar sin de and one of the lads in the queue said: “sure ye didn't win that many of them since they introduced helmets.”

I was at an Armagh club match a few years back, when before the match the announcer called out for everyone to rise and show due respect for the National Anthem.
A few seconds passed with silence, when all of a sudden the theme music for the Sunday game blared out.

After Dessie missed a catch in last years Armagh v Dublin match.
'Ah yeah, ye would have caught that if we'd thrown ya a fiver, 
After (another) skewed wide by Dessie - '127 euro a week?  for that!?'

Similiar to that, at the first round game this year when Derry were giving Mulligan a hard time he missed a simple catch and allowed it to run over the sideline.
Some Red Hander uttered: 'If it was a fish supper you'd have caught her.'



Another one was when a player at a hurling match went to hand pass the ball out to one of his half-backs and the opposing forward nipped in and stuck it in the net.
The shout from the line went 'For Jaysus sake, why don't you try and pass it to one of your own?' to which the player responded 'Oh, we have a  comedian in the crowd' only to be told 'We don't need a comedian in the crowd there are fifteen you ye out there.”

It was a Cavan league game a few years ago.
Cathal Collins was making his debut for the Blues.
A well-known Cavan supporter when asked his opinion on the debutant was heard to say on the way out the gate: ' they shot the wrong  Collins.'

In New York at the ch'ship match a Sligo supporter roared at a Leitrim man a few seats over as to whereabouts in Leitrim the NY mid-fielder was from.
The response: “From beside the Shop!”

 A member of my company, who was not too impressed with the way Laois beat Dublin (they had the audacity to win).
Shouting for Kildare obviously. The place goes quiet just before a free and he lets this classic go: 'Come on Killdare. Do it for Shergar.'

 
 The priest was giving the sermon and the theme was happiness and a real mad hurling man Sean was at Mass.
Anyway the priest was going around the crowd and making examples of happiness.
He spotted Sean in the crowd and said that happiness for Sean Sweeney would be for 'Limerick to win the All Ireland,' to which Sean stood up blessed himself and said out loud: 'Lord Graciously hear us.' 
 

About 12-15 years ago, standing in Casement Park in Belfast at a National League game and announcer cool as you like over the PA system: “the gate money has just been stolen.”

Some of ye may have heard of the announcer in Tullamore. At the county final a few years ago just after the band had completed the National Anthem and were about to head off the field and as you can imagine the tension of the game was building etc and suddenly his voice boomed out over the PA: “for God’s sake will the band ever get off the pitch the game is about to start.”

Ennis announcer Tipp/Clare league game in Ennis: “number 23 Eamon Taaffee replaces . . . who’s he replacing . . . oh yeah . . . Barry Murphy.” (In a really ‘oh God he’s useless too tone.)